Come In, Team Prehistoria! Chapter One
by DonutThug
Summary: [A Creepypasta Dinosaur AU] Nobody questioned why Zalgo wanted to expand the reaches of his empire back to the age of dinosaurs, but everyone questioned how. "By linking these runes." Team Prehistoria: to travel back in time and set up runes long before humans walked the Earth. Team Present: to serve as mission control and set up runes in our own timeline.
1. Chapter 1 The Elite Three

Zalgo always had a lust for power.

It wasn't a surprise to anyone who so much as lay eyes on him. The hellishly coloured Naamalgoid always put his true evil personality on display. Analyzing the potential in everything and everyone, all the ways he could exploit it. The way he prowled the area was that of a predator in search of its prey. He was truly a power-hungry animal.

Yet he still kept his pack-of-sorts close to him. The unspeakable force— perhaps fear, that kept them running back to his side.

There was no better way to explain why so many of them had agreed to this new plan.

They did not know why, and they dared not question it. Zalgo had his mind set on taking over the land of the dinosaurs, some sixty-five million years ago, and they weren't about to challenge their master. At least it would be an _experience_. Yeah, that was it. That was surely what Zalgo had in mind for his minions. A unique experience that would introduce their empire to new reaches! To show the world how powerful the almighty Zalgo really was!

"Earth to Lurky! Come in, Lurky!"

Shadowlurker's trance was broken by the swift movement of a normally sweet and gentle voice, coated with sugar. Well, it was normally sugar, but today it was probably some twisted mixture of salt and sand **((A/N: I don't like sand. It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere))**. Stripes, the first-born daughter of Lurky's master, held a completely different perspective on her father and his bizarre reign of terror.

"Are you within half a dozen light-years of our plane of existence yet?"

"Maybe."

"Good enough for me!"

The blue-masked proxy was lying, plain and simple. He was often daydreaming about all the different ways his master was being an amazing owner. And the cloaked one still did. To think that the red and black demon was going to send his pack to a time before mankind was a thought to behold. Seeing all sorts of new creatures, being the first to experience so many things! Imagining the dizziness that would sweep over one as their senses became overwhelmed with all the new information as your brain tried to process it all…

"LURKY! WAKE THE F*** UP!"

Lurky stumbled as Stripes let go of the wrist he didn't realize she had her death grip choking out. Yet it wasn't Stripes dropping him that knocked him back into his senses, but a feeling of sharp pain. The all-too familiar feeling of the edge of an all-too familiar gauntlet forcing itself into his skin through the silky black cloak.

"GET YOUR F***ING HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS, DIPS***!"

Shadowlurker knew exactly who it was, even if he couldn't recognize the voice, as there was only one creepypasta who swore _that_ much. After all, he was the last one needed to complete The Elite Three.

Ah yes, The Elite Three. A trio pulled together by Zalgo, and the group that shared the responsibility of all being second-in-command. It was a vast, extensive empire. Even though Zalgo was an all-powerful chaos demon, he decided it better to have some of his highest ranked 'Pack' members deal with anything Zalgo deemed unfit for himself.

The Elite Three, as their name suggested, held three members. Of course, Zalgo's first-born — the oldest of two daughters — was one. Stripes' demon abilities gave her the intimidation she needed to scare any who dared stand up to her father back in line. And, being the daughter of the chaos god, she was heir to the throne, and her political power was untelling. Her physical strength was immeasurable, and she hid it with her cute face. Make everyone believe you're some beautiful, yet delicate heavenly angel when you're truly the devil's daughter and the battle's half won. It was easy to underestimate her, she was terrifying, and she had political power.

Next in line: the one who had hit Shadowlurker upside the head. None other than the right-hand-man of Zalgo: Dark Link. Out of everyone classed as a 'creepypasta' (save for Zalgo and Slenderman), he single-handedly held the highest kill count — higher than the rest of them _combined_ —. There were even rumours that his garden was approaching the size of Zalgo's, although they were never confirmed. It made perfect sense why Zalgo had chosen him, he was dangerous. Not to mention the fact he was part of technology, and his coding was the puppetmaster. No matter what, he would always be totally loyal to whomever held the darkest, more corrupted and cruel heart. And nobody matched the villainy of Zalgo. When Dark Link dared go against his master and free his trapped brother, the smallest of The Elite Three had suffered brutal punishment. Yet the snowy-haired elf was still loyal to the man who had mistreated the only one he loved. Ever loyal, and dangerous.

And, of course, there was Shadowlurker. He was stealthy, able to sneak into virtually everywhere. A building was locked? He was already inside. Staring into a mirror? He didn't have a reflection until it was too late. Vanishing into seemingly thin air with no trace, and leaving nothing but a cacophony of silence that left victims confused and terrified. His sly killing methods left neither evidence nor body. Loyalty beyond that of both daughter and rogue game, he was a mysterious cryptid. While both horned Zalgoid and red-eyed elf would give their lives to serve their master, Shadowlurker would give the rest of existence. His loyalty was beyond compare.

But to the others in the pack, they were the least pleasant individuals in the empire. Stripes was just a happy-go-lucky devil with a powerful punch and short temper, Dark Link was an indecent jerkwad who swore far too often, and then there was Shadowlurker. The obsessive Zalgo fanboy who might as well have started a cult for his master.

Yet Lord Zalgo had chosen them. If Zalgo thought they were valuable assets to him, they must be! After all, Master Zalgo was always right…

"SHADOWLURKER!"

This time, it was a slightly more familiar object colliding with his head: the bottom of Dark Link's boot. Unlike the last time the angry elf hit him, this hit knocked the blue-masked proxy to the ground.

"FOR F***'S SAKE WAKE UP THE F*** UP BEFORE MASTER GETS HERE!"

A breath of air was ripped out of Shadowlurker's chest as this time, the heel of the same boot was forced into his back, rubbing his spine side-to-side uncomfortably.

"LURKY!"

Still, he remained zoned out. After all, he was suffering for his master! He was proving that no matter how hard he was hit, his mind would always go back to Zalgo. That nothing could break his loyalty to his owner, no matter who did what. He would suffer for Zalgo… he would _die_ for Zalgo.

Especially when the pin and the shouting escalated to sadistic, violent kicking and colourful swearing, as if Shadowlurker had done something that offended his roommate personally. But in reality, it was just Dark Link using this as an excuse to beat the snot out of Shadowlurker. Still, the cloaked proxy remained zoned out, ever loyal to his master. Even Stripes started shouting, but he didn't stir.

What were they even there for?

"DARK LINK!"

That time, it wasn't Shadowlurker's name, but his attacker. And as the violence stopped, so did the trance. But it wasn't the one with flickering red eyes backing off and dipping his head in submission that awoke the proxy. It was the shout, that familiar voice Shadowlurker had become addicted to.

His master's voice.

Zalgo's voice.

"I CALL FOR ALL OF YOU TO MEET ME HERE AND I'M FIVE MINUTES LATE AND I WALK INTO ZELDA TRYING TO KILL LURKY?"

"I-I'm sorry Master! I-I can assure you th-that i-it won't happen again!"

"IT BETTER NOT!"

The snarl was immediately calmed with a sharp strike to the side of the elf's face, and Shadowlurker was granted the time to climb to his feet.

"Well, are you three ready for enough information to make your ears bleed?"

"Yessir!"


	2. Chapter 2 Arguments

He wasn't kidding.

By the time they left, saying they were overwhelmed would have been the understatement of the century.

The plan in and of itself, was easy enough. However, there was quite a bit of background information none of them had. Dark Link even had to bring the meeting to a brief pause midway through to get a pen and paper.

"Say Dark, can you show me your notes? I'm confused!" the short-haired Zalgoid looked over the short elf's shoulder.

"It's dangerous to go uninformed, take this!" Stripes groaned but did not complain at the teasing tone of the reference as the shortest of the group tossed the pad of paper to her. Upon a single glance, she shoved it back into the black-clad elf's hands.

"Your handwriting is _awful!"_ she groaned, "I can't read any of it!"

"You didn't even try!"

"My eyes would bleed if I did!"

Shadowlurker rolled his eyes. All three of them couldn't get along if their lives depended on it. Then again, chances were high that they would need to…

No, they couldn't be! There was no way that Zalgo would put their lives in a situation where they couldn't handle themselves! He wouldn't do that, he was too good a master to do that to his proxies!

"Ugh, if we're in a position where we're all about to die, I'm not saving you!"

"Why would I need _your_ help?"

"Because we're getting sent to the age of the dinosaurs, and anyone as small and pathetic as you would be like a happy meal to any oncoming predator!"

"Hmph we're about the same size, so _you_ might. Just remember who wiped out several small countries."

Every now and then, Shadowlurker found his train of thought broken by the constant bickering of the other two.

"Guys, stop fighting! Lord Zalgo would never send us to a place with a high chance of mortality if he thought we couldn't handle ourselves! He wouldn't want to see us die!"

Stripes and Dark Link stopped in the middle of the hallway to figuratively die of laughter. For once agreeing on something, Shadowlurker found himself staring at his roommates as they quite literally fell over laughing.

The maroon-haired Zalgoid seemed the most capable of speech through the hysterics, barely choking out a small collection of words (or at least sounds) that Shadowlurker couldn't make out.

He decided it wasn't worth it. After all, neither of them understood and valued Zalgo as fully as the one in the blue mask did. Shadowlurker trusted his master. The others, didn't.

"Seriously guys, knock it off!" he physically stepped between them, temporarily forgetting that they were no longer fighting. (It was such a common occurance, it had become a habit)

"Don't we have better things to do?" still no response, "After all, we're meeting with Slender's group tomorrow!"

 _That_ shut them up.

"Think about it, we must recruit our worst enemies to help our master expand the reaches of his empire!" Shadowlurker made sure that his fiery passion for serving Zalgo was emphasized in his body language, as he wanted to make sure they felt the same way.

"Y'know, Lurky's onto something."

"THANK YOU!"

"If we're dealing with the Slenderman, chances are high we're going to have to go as Armageddon."

Of course, Stripes didn't care about dealing with Zalgo's enemies. She only cared about their other form. Yes, the three of them had another form. Somehow, Zalgo had found a way to create a sort of fusion between the three of them, which had started being called 'Armageddon'. The three of them _sharing a body_ … while Shadowlurker disliked the action, he did not argue or disagree with his master. After all, it was evidently beneficial in the long run, as it was an initiative made by Zalgo, the single greatest being of all time…

"Well arguing isn't going to help! We have maybe twelve hours to prepare for the worst, and Zalgo-only-knows how long until we're sent back to the age of the dinosaurs!"


End file.
